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The New Normal

MotherAnn 5 years ago
This morning I was spending some time looking back on what was and came upon my last post. At that time I was just preparing for the exciting Thanksgiving visit with my entire family. There were 23 people who came on that day! One of my nieces brought her new boyfriend for all to meet. He was a nice young man and they are very happy together.

As it turned out - this day was one of the last "good" days for Jon and myself. He felt pretty good that day and enjoyed all the food and company. He felt pretty good for the entire time our son and his family were here to visit. We managed to get out and about and he helped our son install a new stereo system in his truck. Unfortunately, Jon passed away on December 12. That day was absolutely the worst day of my life. Jon and I met and began dating when I was just 17 years old. I've never been an adult without him.

Through it all I have had the love and support of my family and friends. Our son and his family made the return trip on December 12 to be here. This time, however, they flew. The amount of love and support we received from people so overwhelmed me. Someone brought us dinner every day for the entire time my house was full of family from afar. By the time everyone returned home it was then Christmas break so I did not return to work until after the New Year. That was a welcome blessing as I really don't think I could have worked those first few weeks.

I have had many "bad" days, but there have been some good days as well. I am learning to cook for one. It really isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I have finally been able to eat at the table and not cry while I do so We always had our meals at the table, together. When the kids were young I was adamant that dinner time was family time. We spent many many hours at our table talking, laughing, enjoying the meal and each other's company. Sitting there by myself is taking some getting used to. I'm not totally by myself every day; my daughter and SIL live less than a mile away so we all three eat together a few times a week. Last night we ordered a pizza and salad and enjoyed that sitting in the livingroom.

I know that as the weeks and months pass things will get a little easier. I also know that every day there will be something that comes up and makes me wish I could share the moment with Jon. He is gone, but will always be in my heart and mind. We were very fortunate and the night before he passed we sat up and talked the entire night. I think we both knew his time was just around the corner. We got to say our goodbye's and tell each other one more time how much we loved one another. I know he does not want us to be sad or to stop living. I am going to try my best to do just that.
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sclaire 5 years ago said:

I do hope things get easier for you. You have friends and family nearby, that must be a big comfort to you.
Good for you on cooking for one-I gave up a while ago, so much easier to just open a can of soup or have a bowl of cereal. Or cinnamon toast!
You must be excited about retiring, think of all the things you will have time for now! I have two rooms in my house dedicated to my crafts-funny how all my supplies crept from room to room!
Keep busy, look forward. Good things are still coming.

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MotherAnn 5 years ago said:

Sclaire - My friends and family are a huge comfort. It is a blessing that my daughter is only a half mile away from me. I love to eat too much to give up cooking! LOL
I got a chuckle out of your supplies creeping from room to room! I can just see them inching ever so slowly to the next room. :D

Thank you for stopping in and reading my ramblings. Take care.

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