How to make it

  • Sample whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.
  • Check again to be sure it's of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and then drink. Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer and beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
  • Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
  • Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the whiskey for tonsticity.
  • Next, sift 2 cups of salt....or something--- who cares?
  • Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain nuts.
  • Add 1 tbsp. of sugar or something, whatever you can find.
  • Grease the oven and turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
  • Don't forget to beat the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
  • Check the whiskey again & go to bed.
  • Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway???

Reviews & Comments 2

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  • mia_k1w1 8 years ago
    Love reading this recipe out.. everyone thinks I'm on something or having problems speaking!! ;-)
    Was this review helpful? Yes Flag
  • 22566 8 years ago

    This recipe...the only way to make a cake.

    It has been awhile,hope all is well.

    Thank-you for this Monday Smile.

    Kindest of Regards

    Was this review helpful? Yes Flag

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