Breakfast Biscuits Recipe

How to make it

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• While watching Max X or similar guilty secret relaxing pleasure, dice yourself up some ham. Whack whack whack! The little bits should be about the same size as or smaller than your smallest fingernail. (If you're a Yeti, wing it.)
• Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.
• Smudge some of that first 1 T of butter into your muffin tin or whatever you're using so the biscuits release easily.
• Slap the tin into the oven so the butter melts.
• Fling the dry ingrediants into a big ol' bowl and mix. Try to keep most of it in the bowl, though it's tough, I know. Yeay for enthusiasm!
• Whack in the butter and attack with a pastry mixer, gosh I love those things, or two knives -- though that takes forever and before you're done you're going to want to gore yourself. No really -- for. ev. ver. Get a pastry blender. They're shaped like the letter D. Sooooooo much easier. You'll know you're done when the biggest bits of butter are no bigger than peas.
• Dump in the diced ham.
• Rescue the melted butter from the oven and tilt the tin so the butter coats all the crevices.
• Glug the milk into the ham and dry ingrediants.
• Slap the dough around with a spoon or something until it's juuuust barely mixed -- not too much plain milk hanging around, not too many dry floury spots showing. Don't bother with being thorough, the less mixed the more delicious, nummies.
• Slop some dough into your tin. They'll rise to be about twice as high.
• Bake at 450 for 30 minutes or until the middles are mostly cooked.
• Let cool and refridgerate until time for savory smudgy crumbly devourement. Is that a word? Oh, who cares. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!