Cucumber Noodles Failed Recipe

How to make it

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• The recipe calls for an adjustable blade slicer with a 1/8 inch Julienne blade, but I'm not rich enough to afford stuff like that so I just used a regular vegetable peeler. I suppose you can too.
• Using slicer, cut each cucumber lengthwise into long, 1/8 inch Julienne strips, slicing until you reach the core.
• Blanch cucumber "noodles" in boiling salted water for one minute, then drain into a colander.
• Immerse the cucumber-filled colander into an ice bath for two minutes to stop it from cooking further.
• Drain cucumbers, then transfer to a clean towel and pat dry.
• Heat butter in skillet under moderate heat until butter foams.
• Toss in cucumbers, mint, salt, pepper, zest and lemon juice.
• Toss to coat, just until heated through, another two minutes.
• Serve immediately.
• How I botched this recipe: First of all, I used beef, which didn't go with the meal. If I'd used fish, chicken or pork, it would've gone a bit better. Second, I added rosemary to compliment the beef, thinking it would sorta go with the lemon and mint. Survey says? EEET! Third, I overcooked the cucumbers; I was trying to compensate for their thickness, but what can I say, I'm retarded. I used regular cucumbers instead because I only had $2. I didn't have any lemons, so I used lemon pepper powder, which made it way too lemony and spicy, especially after all the excessive lemon juice I used. I also used dried mint, which I'm sure didn't help the situation. Though the peas actually made it better, so I might suggest putting some in reguardless.
• What this recipe was supposed to be was crisp, delicate, minty and refreshing. What I got was something that looked like camel vomit and tasted like pinesol. I hope you have better luck with this recipe than I did.