Inept Servers? Restaurant Rants

tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Speaking from experience as back in my younger days before I was married I was a cocktail waitress in a Country bar in Chattanooga. You are not necessarily inept when you drop a tray of drinks. I dropped one once that had 10 mixed drinks on it, luckily not down anyones back though but it was for a group of policemen celebrating something. After they had their laughs at my expense I walked off with over $200.00 in tips from that table. LOL

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

$200. in tips is awesome! I think policemen are wonderful guys. When I worked the graveyard at the Clock, I was grateful for their presence with the number of diners who had to much to imbibe....those guys kept the joint from going nuts.

I told the story in my "about me" when I tripped and launched my tray of meals over the guests. The worst part was that the carpet was shredding and part of it caught on my heel, and since we had two sets of steps to go down while balancing the trays on our shoulder; I can't really say that incident was entirely my fault. Thank goodness, the group that endured the raining food was more worried over my tumble down the steps and less concerned over their ruined clothes. Michel, the owner was so gracious, he paid for their replacement meal and their dry cleaning. He was a wonderful owner. All in all, I ended up with a bruised ego and a twisted ankle.

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Maybe waitresses should just get hazzard pay. LOL

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borinda 16 years ago said:

That is my huge dislike at restaurants. Unless it is packed so densely with tables (which gets loud and obnoxious anyway) or a booth is being served, is there ANY excuse for waiters reaching across my face to serve the person next to me? I really detest when their armpit reaches by my nose, too, while I'm kvetching here. One local restaurant in Lafayette, Ca. - La Finestra, has a waiter who always does that despite my asking him nicely not to. He is loud, every time we are there he announces the wines are great and he knows it because he does their buying, and gets into conversations none of us care about - we're there to enjoy friends, not him. Can you guess, I do not go there anymore just because I find him so intrusive and offensive.
So, my big gripe is poor training of waitstaff. I cannot imagine such "techinque" at Le Cirque back in NY!!!!

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Nope nope nope, not me, I never served food, I just served drinks. I would rather put up with a drunk any day over a foodie who is perturbed over the food that someone else cooked and I would have to serve. But then again I never had to put up with a drunk, that is what the bouncers were for hahahahaaaaa I think I will just stick to the cooking completely.

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

My husband, son, daughter and I were out to dinner at a local seafood chain at one of the first ones open. The lines are always long and the chain was extremely casual back then....very corporate now. Anyway, Tyler is in his wheelchair and it has a four point harness holding him upright and leg straps for the spastitity in his legs. He always looked like he was strapped in an electric chair awaiting execution. He had so little functional body movement the straps were needed to keep him from falling. His greatest joy was eating (long story short, he couldn't eat for two years and received liquid nutrition only and I spent countless therapy hours teaching him how to swallow again). He loved going out to restaurants and he reveled in different tastes. I carried a battery powered hand blender in his bag and would blend food in a cup and feed him.

We had all ordered our meals, I fixed Ty's clam chowder and everyone had just started to enjoy their dinners. Then, Ty Ty started to choke and sputter and turn blue, Fred and I flew into action and started tearing off those straps and buckles like no tomorrow. Tyler was nearly 8 but light as a feather and we grabbed him to get ready to do the Heimlich manuever and clear his throat. All the movement in whipping him out of the chair was enough to clear the obstruction. But,while we checking on him to make sure he was okay and getting him back into his wheelchair, THE WAITRESS TOOK ALL OF OUR NEARLY FULL PLATES AND CLEARED THE TABLE. SHE THOUGHT WE WERE DONE EATING. She never asked why we were hovering over our boy, didn't wonder why the plates were still nearly full? Just took them and dumped them. Didn't even ask if we wanted doggie bags! Fred called the manager and he comped us the meal and even gave us a gift certificate for another meal. We never went back to eat in the restaurant but did utilize the certificate for take out and ate in the comfort of our own home. Tyler recovered very well from that incident, bless his soul. I spent hours making him special meals, but to the day he passed away, going out to dinner and being included was his greatest joy.

Now, how could you not ask if something is wrong, ignore a handicapped child completely and throw away full plates of food without asking why first?

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

Armpits bother me like too! They are just so gross.

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borinda 16 years ago said:

Tyler - oh that poor child. I am sorry he had a hard time of it and saw a dumb cluck take the meal away. I am sure he felt particularly bad at that time.

There's a restaurant on the Lower East Side of NYC called Ratner's. It is an institution and has been there prior to the Mayflower, I am sure. When I was a kid our family went there for breakfast before my sister and I were dropped at the sleepaway camp bus. I'd heard stories about how if you get up from the table they swipe your plate, if you seem to look away from your meal too long they do it too. I am told I held my breakfast plate the entire time I was eating. My sister didn't and hers WAS taken. They are apparently into speed eating there!!

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

I feel terrible that you guys had such a terrible experience with Tyler. That waitresses actions were completely uncalled for. Being the country bumpkin I am the fanciest restaurants I have been too are Western Sizzlin and Red Lobster. Sizzlin is a salad/food bar type deal but still a wee bit fancy but they are really crowded and the only times I have been there is always with a family gathering so it is uncomfortable for me just with the manual w/chair. Red Lobster was just a really long 45 minute wait but it was back when I was still walking and I think the food sucked. I ordered catfish and they cooked it wrong, as it was just nasty. Then the waitress who brought our drink orders (there was about 10-12 of us) got my 22 year old nephew's beer mixed up with my then 9 year old son's root beer. Thankfully it was my nephew and not my son that got a drink first. I guess that is why I will stick to the little country home town restaurants, I have never had any bad experiences there. LOL

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

Good grief, giving beer to a child. Unreal.

I had to work really hard as a bus girl before the management would even give me a chance at waiting on tables and believe me, I worked hard to do it right. Although burning off eyebrows in front of the guest wasn't part of the plan, that was because I had really really ticked off the chef by picking up a meal late and having it returned for being cold,so my next service was the duck ala orange flambe and he subbed 151 proof rum for the normal rum and when I lit that duck up, I had fireworks. He made Gordon Ramsey look like a pussy cat.

I worked there for two years and when I got ready to leave, Michel presented me with my own set of tableside carving tools and told me I was ready to leave and work elsewhere, I had learned well.. I never wrote an order down, never mixed up a dish tableside. We had a silent method of numbering and followed a clockwise counting systems to always get the right food to the right person. I hate it when the waiter comes to the table and says, "Okay, Who had the chicken?" It isn't that hard to know if you pay attention.

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Ouch, the eyebrows huh? I bet that was a bit painful!!!

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

I got a bit out of line with Borinda and i want to apologize. I have tendencies to fly off the handle when I think I have been wronged. Borinda I hope you will accept my apology and forgive me.I truly am sorry.

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borinda 16 years ago said:

My sweet Gem - I told you there was no offense and meant it. Friends can tease and speak to one another and get on with life.

X

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Thanks Nancy, I feel much better now :o)

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

I was just starting tableside service at the french restaurant on the beach and very nervous about it. We carved the chateaubriand for two, flambeed the duck ala orange and a rack of lamb plus desserts tableside. I was used to the crepes suzette, bananas foster and cherries jubilee because I did those all the time at Rollande et Pierre. No problem. It was the rack of lamb that just scared me. Don't you know that busiest Saturday night ever, packed to the rafters with diners, kitchen staff in the weeds and I have medium rare rack of ribs to carve for two, front and center in the best seating in the house? You know what happened don't you?
As soon as my carving knife slipped between the first two ribs, I flipped that $40 rack right off the waiter's tray and onto the floor. It did a great flip through the air and landed with a significant PLOP on the carpet. I was completely mortified and I couldn't have apologized more profusely. It set my partner and I further back in our service and we had to dig hard to get back on track, much less the collateral damage in the kitchen for having to get another rack out asap. Michel the owner came out and carved the second one with success and was so suave and charming, the guest were happy. But I would nominate myself as being fairly inept that night.

Gem, I did the cocktail waitress work for a few months too. We had to do all the jobs at Le Pompano before any of us could get on the floor as a waitress. I had a blast with the drinkers. We had a great piano bar and a fireplace in the lounge and most people had a long wait for their tables. I made the best tips. I even learned how to do the Playboy Bunny dip because our cocktail uniform consisted of micromini denim skirts, peasant tops and ruffled tennis pants underneath and heels. No way I was bending over to serve those drinks to the ones sitting on those low couches. No way, at all. I had a guy follow me to work one day after I put gas in my car and had that outfit on!!! He had to see where I worked dressed like that!

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chefjeb 16 years ago said:

Notyour momma -- Don't you know about the five second rule? Get if off the floor in 5 seconds or les and it's okay, Right?

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tnacndn 16 years ago said:

Hey I know all about that 5 second rule, everyone uses it here. (wink) and they wonder why I want the floor so doggone clean. hahahaha
Sounds like you may have had a little higher class group of drunks than I did Mamma, I worked at 3 different places 2 of them at the same time and they were called The Hitching Post, The Rock and Country Club and The Stagecoach Inn. No real uniforms, just Daisy Dukes or tight jeans and halters or midriffs. (Oh my what I wouldn't give to have the figure back to dress like that again.) ROFLMBO!!! The Stagecoach was the last place I worked a job like that. I had just met my hubby and we weren't even dating yet. He lived next door to me and he gave me a ride to work one night and decided to stay for a drink. Little did I know until later on that he was going up to any guy who talked to me longer than 30 seconds and would tell him that I was his girl and to buzz off. I was wondering why my tips dwindled down to near nothing. LOL We were married a month later and that was 24 years ago.What did you tell the guy that followed you to work? The uniform you described sounds like it was pretty but maybe a pain to work in. I bet you made some really good tips. LOL Sounds like it was a really nice place to work though.

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borinda 16 years ago said:

notyormomma-- and why aren't we treated to a photo of you in one of those tasteful and demure outfits? Huh????
5 second rule -- nothing would last beyond 1 second if it hits the floor here. The dog (all 80 pounds of him) lays on my feet while I prepare food and lives in hope. He is the self-appointed food catching service here.

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krumkake 16 years ago said:

I'm with borinda - when are THOSE pictures hitting your avatar rotation, notyourmama?!?!? You, too, Gem...I couldn't fit my right arm into the leg of a Daisy Duke anymore!!!! Who remembers Go-Go boots in white "leather" (that would be vinyl, unless you were a movie star or related to the Rockefellers, etc)...those were always good "bar wear", especially when paired with some bright pink "hot pants"!

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

Oh, no way could I post those pictures! They would make me cry. As I tell Freddie, I'm twice the woman he married, literally and figuratively. My heart is a lot bigger because of Tyler and learning to love unconditionally with his gentle life lessons, but the butt didn't need to grow along with my soul. LOL

Following a three second rule in his restaurant, Michel would have handed me my head on a platter, although the line cook took that poor piece of lamb rack with the big divot I had carved in it and re-broiled it and ate it as his fortunate supper. YUCK!

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sweetwords 16 years ago said:

I know what you mean, borinda. The first two dogs I owned we left in the house while they were puppies. They ate EVERYTHING, including onion skins, carrot stubs, you name it. When we finally put the dogs outside, I had to remember how to clean up my own mess again! As for eating off the floor - *sigh*. I have this two-year-old boy...

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krumkake 16 years ago said:

NYM, if your butt is as big as your soul, then I think that's a BEAUTIFUL THING!!!!!

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dancegypsy67 16 years ago said:

I just had to join this conversation...tipping is a HUGE thing with me. I've worked in a pizza joint where tips were part of our pay but the customers rarely left anything and I worked in a Bonanza where every now and then someone would hand you a dollar and it would really put a smile on your face. I tend to over-tip when service is the slightest above average and especially when I'm a local place that's reasonably priced ~ ya don't usually get the big tips on a $20 tab. So I had lunch with a co-worker a few weeks ago and I left a couple of dollars on a $8 bill, my usual tip when eat at this place. My co-worker, who was leaving a tip for TWO, picked up one dollar of the $2 tip she'd laid down because we were leaving too much! ARRRGGGHHHHH!

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

I once accidentally forgot to tip....one of those solitary lunches, thinking about life's options and was so into my personal dilemma, I left the restaurant and just paid the bill. When I was a mile from home and eight miles from the restaurant, I remembered and drove back to the lunch spot, walked in found the waitress and gave her a twenty. She had been wonderful, kept my water glass full, didn't bother me with chatter and just let me ponder my troubles. I felt like c*** for not leaving her a dime and even though I didn't have a lot of money, I was compelled to return. I couldn't just blow it off and say, "she had lots of other customers, it will be okay." Not me.

Krum, Let's just say one time, when Tyler was being a particularly obstinate young man...He kept saying "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom," over and over again via his voice output computer.....forty five minutes straight of "Mom". I'd ask, "Do you need a drink?" He'd grin and say "mom". Me: "Do you want a snack?" him: grin "mom" Me: "Do you need the bathroom?" him, grin: "mom." It was driving me up the wall, so I finally said:
"Tyler until you can say a complete sentence to me, I'm not going to answer you and I'm going to take a nap. So there!!" I went to the couch and curled up with my back to him. I could hear him searching through the word dictionary. (the computer would "click" as he made his word choices and he was struggling mightily to find whatever word he was searching for.......and finally, I heard him say, "Mom has big butt." and he cracked up laughing. God, I miss that kid of mine.

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borinda 16 years ago said:

I love the point of the server keeping your water glass filled without all of the chatter. When my daughter and I were in Ireland earlier this summer we immediately noticed they serve you, keep the glass filled, and do not hear their voices after ordering until they bring the dessert menu or check over. We found that an enhancement.

I shared on another of these restaurant threads that at a local very nice restaurant we had taken along a fine bottle of wine when meeting another couple for dinner some months ago. We had a very pleasant server and invited her to have a bit with us. She knew that wine already and it was early on her shift so she declined. When the bill came my husband noticed there was no corkage fee. He motioned her over and showed her we'd been under-charged. She explained that on her day off, earlier that week, she and her husband had been out, taken a fine bottle of wine too, and hadn't been charged a corkage fee. She decided her next pleasant diners who brought along wine she'd pay it forward and we were "it". The men appreciated the good will as well as her excellent service and she had a generous tip that evening.

BTW --Notyourmomma, Tyler may have been hard work but I love the stories of his spirit and humor. He's reaching a lot of hearts, for sure.

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borinda 16 years ago said:

DEAR WAITERS: What defines most restaurant service is not a failure of attentiveness but an oversupply of it. Good waiters, in other words, should be seen and not heard.
Most diners are familiar with the tradition of starting a meal with something wet and finishing it with something sweet. We needn't be coaxed, cajoled nor harangued into ordering a drink or dessert; all we need is a gentle smile and a pen -- or sharp memory -- at the ready.

Diners generally do not go to a restaurant to make new friends. More often they want to spend some unrushed time with friends they already have.

It's not that I don't like you. I do. And I want you to like me, too -- for an hour or two. But if it's your friendship I'm after, I'll be sure to make that clear by asking you lots of irrelevant questions -- probably when your hands are full and the kitchen bell is ringing.

On that note, please don't tell me your name, even if doing so is in your employee handbook. And please don't inform me that you will be my server tonight -- it's like the mailman telling me he'll be delivering my mail today. Oh? Really?

While we're happy to have you enrich our dining experience with inside knowledge of the chef's particular talents or the wine list's hidden treasures, we are not counting on you for the evening's entertainment. There's no need to perform.

In a recent review of Moresi's Chophouse in Clayton, I wrote about the loud personality of our server, whose "American Idol"

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bravado felt somewhat at odds to the historic, fragile dining room. I called him "a garrulous lad who belonged at Outback or Tahoe Joe's." He went on at length, describing his favorite menu items with adjectives that provided very little insight into the preparation of the dish.
Most servers simply ask if I have any questions about the menu -- but I find even that unnecessary. I probably would have questions if I really thought about it, but unless I ask you, let's not go there. The joy of dining out is to put my trust in your service and the chef's cooking. Maybe it's just our order you're after. If that's the case, don't just say something, stand there.

I understand the urge to fill the vacuum when the kitchen is running behind. But telling me my food will be up in a few moments is really rather pointless -- especially if I've already been waiting 15 minutes. If it's really coming up that quickly, let it be. If you honestly don't know, then don't set me up for disappointment.

Asking a diner if everything is all right seems calculated more for your peace of mind than mine -- like asking Mommy if everything is all right. Yes, dear, it is. People tend to know when they are unhappy with their food and will be happy to share that information if you only have the presence of mind to meet our gaze when we look for yours. Granted, we often won't tell you if something is amiss simply to keep the evening uncomplicated. In that case, the question forces us to lie or betray our desires.

Asking if I want more water is an intrusion, quietly filling my glass is a service. And please don't ask me if I would like more coffee unless you mean it -- with a pot in hand. And, whatever you do, don't pour it like I did as a busboy at the Courtyard restaurant in San Francisco 25 years ago. I streamed coffee the way other teenagers raced cars, starting low, but quickly raising the pot to the top of my 6-foot frame -- as if I were serving mint tea to a Moroccan prince.

Most customers enjoyed my cocky stunt -- I thought -- but one gentleman was so taken aback when I filled his mother's cup with a stream of scalding liquid that he tried to have me fired. I, of course, thought he was totally overreacting.

Now that the coffee cup is on the other table, my "injustice" has turned to sympathy. Today, nothing turns me off a restaurant faster than a server who's both obnoxious and oblivious (not to mention dangerous).

But there's hope out there -- in Pleasant Hill to be exact. My review of Playa Azul is running in Thursday's TimeOut Weekend section. The staff is not only crisp and friendly, but understands how to get the maximum amount accomplished with a minimum of interaction.

I'm sympathetic to waiters who are flustered, don't know the menu or are too harried to provide decent service. Those problems are likely a reflection of inattentive management. And I can appreciate how difficult it is to change gears fast and often without losing a beat or forgetting the drink orders from Table 36. While I've set out my preferences here, another diner might want just the opposite.

Pulling up to strangers in an unrehearsed way, being both natural and flexible enough to adjust your energy to match theirs -- whatever that may be -- is a talent worthy of an ambassador. Excellent service is something to savor.

But the first step in being a good waiter starts with not being intrusive.

Reach Times Nicholas Boer at 925-943-8254 or nboer@bayareanewsgroup.com.

Nicholas Boer: RIGHT THIS WAY

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

Absolutely agree with Nicholas on what makes a great server!!! Terrific post. Thanks.

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notyourmomma 16 years ago said:

Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

1. Three words: eat the check.

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lexluv101 15 years ago said:

Ha, well when I was waitressing one time, I was in an excellent and somehow hyper mood. I was carrying two drinks on a tray and went to a table, all cheerful. Unfortunately the glasses JUMPED from the tray, both landing in the middle of the table, both SHATTERING all over. Both customers and myself were drenched and glass was everywhere. Thank God their food wasn't there yet. The man was in a very nice suit too! I felt just terrible but they were the sweetest people. They kept telling me it was alright and he told me he had been spilled on more times than he can count (I doubt that, by the way) I think I would have cried if they were angry or upset lol

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