The Oreo Ritual Recipe

How to make it

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• First take out your Oreos and stack them one over the other anywhere on the napkin and on your kitchen, dining, or coffee table.
• Place the spoon so that the belly of the utensil is also on the napkin. (This is to insure that any and all residue that may have been mistakenly left behind from your child’s last eating experience does not interfere with your quest for ritual ecstasy...*wink*
• Then get your glass and go to the fridge. (Glass first so that you do not waste the precious time that your milk spends out of the refrigerator).
• Fill it with milk leaving anywhere from ½ to 1 full inch before the rim.
• Walk briskly, with milk in hand to your prepared Oreo stack and sit down with authority. Thrilling? *smile*
• Now, take the top Oreo between your thumb and index finger and submerse vertically just past its equator. Count, internally, to 4. (Don’t ask…just do it)
• Then release the cookie so that it floats in the milk like the last moments of the Titanic before it plunges into the sea. It will sink in its position, and when it disappears into the milk, grab the spoon and scoop it out.
• Take the soaked Oreo, accompanied by the spoon filled addition of liquid pleasure, and place it, in its entirety, in your mouth. Then do whatever comes naturally.
• Then, take a tiny (and I mean tiny) sip from the glass, rinse, swallow, and repeat.
• When all of your Oreos are gone there will be enough chocolate sprinkled milk chug left for what I like to call “the finisher”. Words cannot explain the sensation I speak of. It is something that needs to be experienced by the individual.
• Thrilling no? Great memories? YES!