Roasted Snot Sucker Recipe

How to make it

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• Mom tells dad as he comes in the house she has to leave for her appointment. Toddler had not been fed yet, but he will be hungry SOON. Soup and crackers are on the counter. Mom leaves.
• Dad turns on Tiger game, and gets comfortable on the couch
• Toddler tells Dad he's ready for his "poop and caca's" (Translation: Soup and Crackers)
• Dad says "When there's a commercial break" and starts to doze.
• Hungry Toddler waits through two commercial breaks, dad is snoring, decides to take measures into own hands.
• Starving Toddler finds nasal asperator used on his stuffy nose the night before and carelessly left on side table by couch.
• Clever Toddler goes to kitchen, finds paper plate on a wicker holder, places it with asperator on it onto the nearest burner and figures out how to operate the child safety locked stove knobs.
• Sleepy uncle is awakened by the sound of smoke detector and smell of smoke.
• Both Dad and Uncle race to the kitchen to put out fire and proceed to get rid of all the evidence before mom comes home.
• Dad makes "poop and caca's" for Toddler because he knows he very well may be in it when mom comes home.
• Mom comes home to happy Toddler watching game with Dad. Finds evidence of burned wicker in sink..... demands story..