How to make it

  • Preheat oven to 425F
  • Practice saying “Mmmmm, food” like Homer Simpson would.
  • Wash chicken, pat dry, reserve guts.
  • Put guts in sauce pan with a little water and gently boil for use in yummy gravy. Think “Mmmm gravy!.”
  • Cut up veggies into roasting pan, add chicken stock then season lightly and anticipate the concentrated flavors of roasted fresh veggies. Think “Mmmmm roast veggies.”
  • Season cavity of chicken with salt and pepper.
  • Slice lemon in half and squeeze a small amount of juice under the skin of the breast.
  • Insert the lemon halves and herb bunches into the cavity.
  • Taste some of the sun dried tomatoes, Think “Mmmm, sun dried tomatoes!”, then liberally stuff some under skin of the chicken, and imagine how good this will be.
  • Rub the reserved sun dried tomato infused oil on the skin of the chicken season to taste with salt and pepper, and imagine the golden brown bird emerging from the oven. Think “Mmmmm, roast chicken”.
  • Put the pan of veggies on a low rack of the oven, and the chicken directly on a rack above the veggie pan so the juices will drip onto the veggies, and the combined concentrated juices of chicken and veggies can be used in the yummy gravy. “Mmmmm, roast dinners”.
  • Close the oven door and talk some smack to your spouse about this being the best dinner they ever have or ever will consume in their life from the moment of conception to the end of all eternity.
  • Cook the goods in the oven until they are the consistency of hard black little charcoal briquettes.
  • Throw it all in the garbage and make some ramen noodles. “Mmmm, ramen noodles”
  • Eat the ramen noodles, the bonus here being the “chef” gets to eat a little crow also.
  • SUBSTITUTION #1:
  • Ramen noodles.
  • SUBSTITUTION #2:
  • Skip the ramen noodles and don't incinerate dinner. This recipe has to be good.

Reviews & Comments 16

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  • gourmetdad 9 years ago
    I'm gonna try steps 1 thru 12 for the next Bronco's vs Raiders game! Wont have to worry about overcooking cuz the Bronco's will no doubt ROUTE the Raiders easily allowing plenty of time to attend to the oven and remove dinner at the perfect stage of doneness! RAIDERS SUCK! LOL

    Oh and if Keni is reading....Steelers?? REALLY????
    hehehe
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  • familychef 9 years ago
    Love the laughter...
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  • rottman 9 years ago
    Bet there is a reason for why this one is served during overtime...

    Sounds great. Guts and all.
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    " It was excellent "
    brianna ate it and said...
    Oh boy, does this sound like a great new way to bake a chicken. I'm always looking for something different so I'll be trying this one for sure. & yes, most definately a '5'
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  • daisey11 10 years ago
    I can't wait to try this for my family, sounds great,,,
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  • notyourmomma 10 years ago
    Best recipe writer around, hands down. Can't wait to try...I hate boring chicken and this won't disappoint. Thanks, dear. I needed the smile to start my day and it has been provdided deliciously.
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  • volki1269 10 years ago
    Lmaoo.... My kids could cook this if we omit the chicken and veggies.
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  • remittancegirl 10 years ago
    Love your recipe writing style, Borius. Mmmmm funny!
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  • modelsmom 10 years ago
    But why "trainwreck"?
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  • modelsmom 10 years ago
    This sounds like the ultimate roast chicken, all right. Mmmm, sundried tomato oil on the skin? Genius! Definitely going to do this one, thanks!
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  • robertg 10 years ago
    Love your sense of humor, will try this on the next bird I roast..........
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  • borius 10 years ago
    Giblets no doubt. And it's old No.7, not wassail.
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  • pressurecooker 10 years ago
    When you say "guts", we country folk think "intestines filled with poop, lung, gallbladder, etc". Are you meaning the giblets, or really the guts?? Even being a backwoods hillbilly, I can't imagine using the "guts", unless you were cleaning an intestine thoroughly and using it for a sausage casing--something you never do with chickens; or possibly, chitterlings (or in the vernacular, "chitlins") if you get them from pigs. However, not a one of us would think of throwing away the giblets.

    Please clarify, or I would definitely have to have a lobotomy to eat this. If "guts" means giblets, then this sounds wonderful--providing you skip the ramen & briquettes route!

    By the way, is that your picture AFTER the lobotomy?? Or did you have one too many wassails?
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  • playnurse 10 years ago
    I will have to try this on my husband who is a Simpson fan. I think he will get that part down perfect
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  • missamberlee 10 years ago
    Hey, thats my recipe! ;)
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    " It was excellent "
    jenniferbyrdez ate it and said...
    I think I've made this before. "mmmm, ramen noodles". Already had the lobotomy too thanks. Looks like dinner. Thanks.
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